Auto Pilot

The last 4 weeks have all seemed surreal. Did it all really happen? I think that most of our family has been set to auto pilot the last 4 weeks. So-So came into our lives and ever so quickly left, my grandmother passed away a week later, and my grandfather was diagnosed with lung cancer and had surgery with some complications. People ask, "how do you guys do it"? I couldn't tell you up until this point. It has been a numbing experience, but you just get through it.

These last two days the numbness has worn off. I cry for no reason. Driving down the street, taking a shower, or watching the kids play at The Little Gym. Today we received a letter from our medical insurance provider stating that we needed to enroll Sophia or her coverage would end and I had to sign for a piece of certified mail from the newborn screening office stating that it was a law that she be tested and we had to give our reasons why she wasn't. I know that these people don't know that our Peanut only lived a few short days, but it hurts.

I called Bridges today to enroll Emma in a support group of kids her own age that have also lost a loved one. Classes will be wrapping up shortly and don't start again until July. What to do, what to do.