Wednesday, March 24, 2010
a "new" normal
I heard my sister say yesterday that she is, " trying to find her new normal" it was something that really struck a cord with me because it is so true. I believe that once a mother loses a child things will never go back to normal, so Sarah is on her own journey to a "new" normal because that is all she can do. It is starting to hit me that Sophia is really in heaven already, it feels like those six days happened in just one breath, one moment. It is amazing to me the impact that Sophia made in her six short days here on earth, she has changed our lives forever, I think that too often we take things for granted, and more often we allow things to shape our lives that we believe are important but really don't matter at all, it is easy to let our lives pass us by as we spend time feeling angry that someone cut us off, or depressed that we don't make enough money, or cheated because the drive-thru forgot our french fries. Watching two babies breathe their last breaths has really helped me separate the important things from the not so important things in life. I can brush off forgoten french fries or being cut-off without a second thought and I have J0-Jo and So-So to thank for that. The truth is Jo-Jo and Sophia taught me so much about life, love, and my faith. Although I don't understand why God has placed this on Sarah and Joey, I do believe that he has a plan for them...for all of us.
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You know what Randi? You have just brought me to a realization that I have been struggling with. All of that "stuff" doesn't matter. You are so right. God does have a plan for you and your entire family. None of us have any idea what it could possibly be, but He has a plan. Still praying and sending my love, Jo
ReplyDeleteThank you all for keeping us updated. We are all praying for you. Randi- I'm sorry I didn't say more to you yesterday while you were so bravely facing the work world. I saw you and completely choked up and couldn't speak to you without crying. My heart is broken for all of you.
ReplyDeleteTiffany Sande
Randi,
ReplyDeleteWhen Robby died, I changed. The moment I found out he was going to be born sleeping, my heart just changed. Things were never really normal again. When my day to day life went back to "normal" I felt bad. I remember folding clothes or loading the dishwasher thinking "my son is dead why am I acting normal" I was just surviving, functioning. There has not been a normal day since. The day I came to see Sophia,as I was holding her I actually thought "this is not supposed to be happening" Going to celebrate the life of a brand new baby is supposed to be happy. While I actually made it through the time of holding her and feeling the pain of your family, it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I came to meet Sophia and say goodbye at the same time. As a mom of an angel I really could not even find the words for Sarah. All I had was sorry. I can tell you that all the petty stuff does not matter anymore after you lose a child. There are times I feel sorry for people and the things that they worry about. I mean if missed french fries are all they have to complain about they are lucky. My heart is so heavy for Sarah ans Joe right now. when we left and got in the car Robb said they next time we see them will be at Sophia's funeral. It hit very hard. There is nothing normal about it. We find a way to get through the days, months, years to come but ya there is no normal about missing pieces of a heart.
Sara